How to make an inmate feel loved?
Living in prison, confined to a life within the four walls, makes it hard for inmates to imagine the world outside. This world can hold many surprises for inmates if they see it through your eyes. Your pictures clicked in amazing locals can make him gaze spellbound. A description of your daily shopping activities in the vegetable market can make him smile.
Inmates Behavioral Traits
The aim behind imprisoning someone is to make him feel powerless. As a prisoner, a person can succumb to mental distress. Common among them are anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.
For the dwellers of the outside world, an inmate is somebody deprived of knowledge. Many people commit crime because society makes them feel like an outcast. Sometimes the stigma of life spent in prison makes them feel unredeemable. Petty prison politics is also something that they engage in for emotional stimulation.
If you show love to a prisoner, he will be able to overcome difficulties. Even if the attention is somewhat intermittent, it is crucial for the individual receiving it. Many times they are just an ID number for themselves. Perhaps if you can only give him a birthday card, he’ll be overjoyed.
All a person in a relationship wants is patient hearing. Living in prison is a depressing experience for any individual. You have to help him to come out of depression by gifting him your companionship. You can hear his story and share yours. Everyone searches for compassion and understanding. It becomes all the more critical when one has been convicted and serving a prison term.
The US prisons presently have 22% of the world’s prisoners. A major chunk of them lives in state prisons, local jails, immigration detention centers, and correctional homes.
Being behind the bar does not always mean that they remain cut off from the world. They are encouraged to date people, pursue arts, and even admit to courses prescribed by universities. One thing is certain: if convicts begin connecting with individuals in the outside world, they will reap substantial advantages.
Dating Blues
Many dating sites encourage the prisoners to date. By dating an inmate, some people feel spiritually empowered. It also helps to bring positive changes in the prisoner’s life. Most of these sites also encourage gay and lesbian relationships. These sites prepare them for the outside world when they are finally released.
Many people can re-enter society with satisfying and healthy alliances. As criminals, they may become psychological wrecks sometimes, so having a relationship that supports them emotionally is incredibly desirable. These dating sites also provide a mailing address if convicts do not want to give their personal addresses.
Inmates already have to let go of their freedom and their privacy for obvious reasons. They are not always cold-hearted murderers. Many are a victim of circumstances and a prisoner by compulsion. Some have loved ones outside, and a phone call from them brings them immense delight. The best thing is to send them money so that they can purchase stamps, postcards, etc. It’s critical to make them feel involved. It will help if you inform them that their physical presence is significant.
When you decided to date a convict, you are committing to an unorthodox lifestyle and mindset. A little awareness about your mate is required. The norms of this kind of relationship are unconventional. There is no space for physical intimacy. These come along with the relationship, and you both must be ready to accept the condition.
Way to His Heart
The chances of getting smitten by an in-mate are always there though the conditions might not be ideal. A bond comes with its pros and cons, and there are times when you go to bed weeping and crying. Without fancy dinners, your dating experience sounds bland. But it can be substituted with letter writing which will release your innermost feelings.
Expressing your inner thoughts is the most beautiful way to convey your feelings. Notes become an infinite source of communication and a means of bridging the gap between two hearts. Writing to your partner can be a cathartic experience. You pour out your emotions and feel the weight of the world lift off your shoulders.
Prison communication is the next step. Spend more time getting to know the individual sitting across from you. You should compel him to reveal the root of his disappointment. The reason they were sentenced can be a starting point.
Make your plans clear to them and know their plans as well. This time is good to measure up your compatibility – emotional, mental, and also sexual. By any chance, if you find you do not measure up to each other’s expectations, you have a safe way to exit.
Absence, it says, makes the heart grow fonder, and having limited access to a loved one makes you feel more interested. Physical intimacy makes the relationship grow deeper. The simple act of kissing can bring you closer to each other. However, you might be feeling a bit hesitant initially to make the first move. Consider the connection an emotional investment at first, and pay the call costs. You can do this for the first couple of months, and no one will complain.
It is always better if both of you remain in a confessional mode. Do not make plans to keep the person you are dating in the dark. Your intentions can be undoubtedly good, but they may have their goals too. It will be nice to see the person change once you have started dating. Maybe you have made peace with whatever crime the person has committed but try to set him free by frankly communicating with him.
Sometimes convicts are given chances for self-betterment by acquiring a skill. Try to bring a change in his life by making him feel optimistic about the entire thing. Your beau should take these steps toward self-betterment, and if he is not doing so, you better ask him. Any relationship has its fair share of ups and downs. There will be tough times, but there will also be birthdays and Valentine’s Days. You might not be physically present, but a phone call can fill the void and bring both of you closer.
The very last thing that you can do is to know your partner’s family and close friends. If the person has stable family ties, you have to support them when he gets out. Having strong family bonds also makes him feel more relaxed.
On a Final Note
These alliances are indeed challenging because they do not enjoy the advantages of a steady relationship. Many a time, a convict can be selfish and can be putting himself first in the relationship. Such people should be rightly ignored.
There are several dating sites where inmates post information about them for free. Dating sites do not want to exonerate inmates but provide them with friendship and partnership. Inmates also look for empathetic persons and usually search for that ray of hope that will lighten up an already dark sky. Be the light if you can.